he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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