Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
