hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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