If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
