idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
