took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
