In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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