At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
