If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
