Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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