he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
