I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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