My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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