They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
