But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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