Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
