I am puke
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
