Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
