It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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