dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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