I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
