I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
