i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
