I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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