Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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