I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
