Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
