so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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