You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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