yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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