Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
