you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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