I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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