I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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