i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
