Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
