Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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