what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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