I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Drake has all the answers
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
