Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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