So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
