I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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