so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
