Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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