It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
