I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
