yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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