and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
