break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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