Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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