Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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