Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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