Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
