I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
