i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
COCAINE IS GR8
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
