I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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